Through Portals
            I love how the sci-fi/fantasy genre conveniently solves plot problems by having a spaceship, aliens, or struggling heroes suddenly find an all-powerful portal to pass through. After an hour or two of escalating trauma, everything magically works out. A wormhole in space transports the villains to hell, or the good guys to safety and love in glowing sunset.
            Passing through portals of one type or another is part of life for everyone. We pass through countless passageways relating to time, space, physical and emotional growth. Though not as dramatic as a sci-fi blockbuster movie ending, the portals of our everyday lives are important to note.
            For a person like my severely autistic son, self-reflection on life passages may not come easily. I don’t really know. It’s hard to formulate a question that he understands. It’s even harder for him to find language to articulate an answer.
            I do know that he is powerfully affected by passing through thresholds. In the “bad old days” when we were nearly housebound (see the Home page), just transitioning from under his blanket to out of his bed, or from the front door to our porch, felt almost impossible for him. Even contrasting light and shadows became force fields that froze my son in his tracks. Loud sounds—or the sudden absence of sound—did the same.
            Now I watch my son hike ahead on a trail, passing from a shady tree tunnel to a wide open hilltop with barely a hesitation. This increased threshold crossing ability is evidence of the countless sensory processing and development portals he has traversed, allowing him—and the rest of us in the family—to lead a freer life than we used to.
            Tough challenges still abound, but we look forward to new discoveries as we continue passing through portals on our trail.
            This week’s Hike Notes about Pulgas Ridge introduce one of the many wonderful open space preserves on the peninsula south of San Francisco. 
            Please feel free to share. If you’re not able to take one of these Northern California hikes, hopefully you can enjoy the photos! Check the Home page for the broader background story.
            The list of hikes is getting long! Please check the Quick View Hike List or scroll down the main Hikes page to see the current list of hike notes.
New this week:
Hike Notes 71: Pulgas Ridge

Light At the End of the Tunnel
            One of my favorite spots in the whole world is a few minutes’ walk from my house. (This from an old international traveler.) The tunnel cave at the Sutro Bath ruins in San Francisco is dark, wet, and has uneven footing over slick rock, puddles, and sand. The rocks at the far end are even more slippery as you step to the edge for the rough, rocky view to the crashing waves past the remnants of an old railway structure. Signs warn us not to venture out on the treacherous rocks. Rescues are not easy here.
            Two side viewing holes open toward the sea midway through the tunnel. You can’t see the horizon, just the ebbing and flowing of waves. Crashing and flowing into the mini-cavern we view from the tunnel path, the waves move at the mercy of the tides.
            No crash or flow is the same. Each wave has a different visual effect. Sound ranges from quiet swooshes to eardrum-reverberating booms. The constant change that nature brings, and that I can’t control, stills my fluttering mind.
            And there is the proverbial “light at the end of the tunnel.” Like the waves that crash in through those side cave openings in the Sutro Bath tunnel, the challenges we face constantly change. Solutions that arise change as well. There is no fixed, single light at the end of the tunnel. Thankful for the positive openings that appear before us, we understand that we will be challenged again, and that another tunnel light will again lead us onto something better.
            This week’s Hike Notes, Sutro Baths, introduces the ruins of San Francisco’s famed Sutro Baths, opened to the public in 1896 by San Francisco Mayor Adolf Sutro. An iconic place that once drew thousands for indoor swimming in a structure that housed seven swimming pools, museum exhibits featuring Egyptian mummies, and tropical plants, it was destroyed by fire in the 1960s and now stands as a stunning gateway view to the Pacific.
            Please feel free to share. If you’re not able to take one of these Northern California hikes, hopefully you can enjoy the photos! Check the Home page for the broader background story.
            The list of hikes is getting long! Please check the Quick View Hike List or scroll down the main Hikes page to see the current list of hike notes.
New this week:
Hike Notes 70: Sutro Baths

A Quiet Place
            Moving, moving, always moving. Physically. Mentally. If I’m not doing things at a frenetic pace, I feel like I’m going to burst. I drove my parents and brothers crazy when I was a kid. I drive my husband and sons nuts now.
            I see similar traits in my severely autistic son. Hyperactivity and obsessive compulsive behaviors intertwine with his language, sensory processing and executive processing challenges. His compulsive pacing and constant rearranging of objects are familiar territory.
            I like moving around outdoors best, but indoor fitness classes are another great energy outlet. 
            Quiet, slow moving classes like yin yoga sound like torture to a person who can’t stand to be still. What could happen in an hour of quiet time? Pent up feelings might whoosh in, and tears might whoosh out. 
            Keep moving fast enough, and deeper feelings are kept at bay.
            And yet. A beloved fitness teacher mentioned her meditation and stretching class. Pushing anxiety aside, I showed up for a class.
            To my utter shock, though being physically still was hard, I survived the quiet, focused mental aspect.
            Sometimes the thing we need most is what we avoid.
            Kudos to those who are easily able to still their minds and bodies anywhere. For some of us, a beautiful, quiet setting with a soft breeze and clouds floating above are the instinctive choice. 
            This week’s Hike Notes, Phoenix Lake, introduces not a hike, but rather one of the iconic lakes of the Marin Watershed. Phoenix Lake can be a destination for a quiet moment viewing the lake, or can be the starting point for a wide variety of hikes.
            Please feel free to share. If you’re not able to take one of these Northern California hikes, hopefully you can enjoy the photos! Check the Home page for the background story.
            The list of hikes is getting long! Please check the Quick View Hike List or scroll down the main Hikes page to see the current list of hike notes.
New this week:
Hike Notes 69: Phoenix Lake

In It Together
            Some of us are stubbornly independent.
            None of us is truly the island we fear we are—or perhaps even aspire to be.
            Ultimately, we do not operate in a vacuum.
            Wading through unsure waters, we may feel there is no one there to help. Someone, somewhere, can offer guidance or support in some way. Keep reaching out.
            Even an acknowledging nod of the head from a stranger can be surprisingly reassuring.
            Remember to thank your friends, family and acquaintances for the good things they bring to your life.
            And when you’re able, be the one to reach out with a helping hand.
            A small kindness offered might mean the world to someone.
            This week’s Hike Notes, Moraga Mosaic Stairs to Grandview Park, introduces one of many beautiful stairway walks in San Francisco. The view from the bottom is great for the mosaic image, and the view from the top is great for the scenic vistas!
            Please feel free to share. If you’re not able to take one of these Northern California hikes, hopefully you can enjoy the photos!
            The list of hikes is getting long! Please check the Quick View Hike List or scroll down the main Hikes page to see the current list of hike notes.
New this week:
Hike Notes 68: Moraga Mosaic Stairs to Grandview Park

Nature’s Insightful Kick In the Head
            My message on repeat loop: Time spent in nature is therapeutic, mentally and physically. It’s a powerful calming agent for everyday life stress, and for more heavily debilitating PTSD, depression and other conditions.
            My family is in a particularly stressful stretch, wondering whether our special needs son will have a meaningful place to go every day now that he is aging out of the school system. It can feel like falling off a cliff.
            Combine that with other stresses, and even “bust stress with nature” blogger me fell prey to new anxiety symptoms.
            A once-solved benign vertigo problem re-emerged. Severe eye strain due to decades of 14-hour days in front of a computer had my head spinning just glancing at my computer screen. (Updating my computer glasses prescription earlier would have been helpful.) Anxiety on several fronts overlapped to make me feel lightheaded and dizzy.
            There was less time to pound my troubles out through hiking boots on a nature trail.
            But when I did get out on a trail, I realized that the dizzy, lightheaded feeling disappeared.
            Back at my own front door, the feeling would come back again. Get within ten feet of my computer screen, and the vision-related vertigo kicked in. My visual and vestibular systems were in an escalating canine tail-chasing frenzy.
            Go outdoors, feel good. Come home, head starts spinning. It was like having a stress allergy to my own house and home office.
            Though not easy for our family, we managed a two night trip to enjoy quiet time at a nature reserve and beach area.
            Driving down scenic Route 1, I already felt better. By our second night away, capping off two days of walks in beautiful places, I realized I hadn’t been dizzy or lightheaded for a day and a half.
            This was a kick-in-the-head message from Mother Nature. Two days away worked wonders. Back home, my anxiety and accompanying head spinning stayed largely away.
            Stressed out? Get out for a walk. Look at your porch flowers. Watch a spider in the corner of your window. Stop and take a breath. Realize that the world turns just fine without our frenzied anxiety for fuel.
            Amidst the chaos and the darkness, there is always light glowing in the background.
            This week’s Hike Notes, Año Nuevo Elephant Seal Adventure, introduces the iconic site where visitors can see elephant seals gather by the thousands in winter, or see smaller groups molting on the beach during other times of year.
            Please feel free to share. If you’re not able to take one of these Northern California hikes, hopefully you can enjoy the photos!
            The list of hikes is getting long! Please check the Quick View Hike List or scroll down the main Hikes page to see the current list of hike notes.
New this week:
Hike Notes 67: Año Nuevo Elephant Seal Adventure

Step by Step
            Overlapping sets of challenges can appear so daunting that we freeze.
            My older son, a bright student, felt that way about math. As an elementary school student, looking at two or three math problems on a page was okay. But when a teacher handed out a single page densely packed with 100 multiplication problems, he’d melt into a math anxiety puddle. He was unable to start the problems, much less finish them.
            My younger son, pummeled by severe autism, epilepsy, food allergies, motor planning issues, and language challenges, must feel like he’s looking at a page with 100 math problems with just about everything he does.
            As a parent trying to juggle care for my special needs son, earning an income, and all the other tasks a life entails, I also get dizzy with the swirling mass of problems before me.
            Breaking things down into doable components, one problem at a time, makes it possible to climb over the steepest mountains of challenge. Step by step, digestible task by digestible task, we make our way through.
            Next time you’re feeling overwhelmed, stop and take a breath. Look in front of you. Get a sense of the bigger path. Then assess just the next few steps.
            Take that first step. Feel good that you got there. Take another breath, and move up to the next step.
            There’s always another approach to cope with difficulties. Give yourself a pat on the back with each step forward!
            This week’s Hike Notes, King Mountain Loop Trail, follows a 1.8 mile loop featuring tree covered trails and bay views in the King Mountain Preserve above Larkspur.
            Please feel free to share. If you’re not able to take one of these Northern California hikes, hopefully you can enjoy the photos!
            The list of hikes is getting long! Please check the Quick View Hike List or scroll down the main Hikes page to see the current list of hike notes.
New this week:
Hike Notes 66: King Mountain Loop Trail

Last Push to the Top
            Your boots hit the ground with extra enthusiasm as you head out on a new trail.
            Wildflowers to the left, tall grass blowing in the wind to the right. An enticing tree tunnel looming before you.
           The trail offers surprises at each new turn.
            And then you hit the upward grade. Not steep, but still a climb.
            It’s sunny. The breeze has disappeared. Tree cover only appears sporadically.
            The map says it’s a mere half mile to the peak you’re aiming for.
            But the incline rises more sharply. The trees are sparser. And the sun is hotter.
            After endless turns hoping for the summit stretch, the last shot to the top finally comes into view.
            Everyone manages the final push up that last damned steep rise.
            A snack break looking at stunning views, a new breeze cooling your face, and it’s time to do the return end of the loop.
            The swear words muttered on that last push upward turn to joking banter as the troops head downhill along a new section of trail, filled with its own unique delights.
            Sometimes one week of life, one day of life, one hour of life can feel like that last steep section of trail. Somehow we manage to reach resting spots with clarifying vistas.
            Don’t forget to take a break. Don’t forget to be kind to yourself. Don’t forget to look out for your fellow travelers.
            Rest up and enjoy your downhill stretches so you can hold up for the next uphill challenge.
            Keep putting one foot forward.
            This week’s Hike Notes, Bald Hill from Deer Park, introduces one of countless hike options from Deer Park in Fairfax. The climb is worth the feeling of satisfaction as well as the views.
            Please feel free to share. If you’re not able to take one of these Northern California hikes, hopefully you can enjoy the photos!
            The list of hikes is getting long! Please check the Quick View Hike List or scroll down the main Hikes page to see the current list of hike notes.
New this week:
Hike Notes 65: Bald Hill from Deer Park

Walking Together
            Having time alone can be a wonderful thing. A quiet moment away from others allows us to reflect and center ourselves.
            Isolation feels different from “alone time.” Feeling isolated can drain us emotionally, and in turn, physically.
            For those of us in the special needs world, isolation is a huge challenge. Behavior issues, health issues, sensory issues. At every turn, obstacles prevent us from participating in “normal” society. There are countless reasons a person might be cut off due to feeling “different.” Illness, disability, poverty, language and cultural differences. The list goes on. 
            Loneliness can happen not only to an individual, but to a group. Special needs families are just one example of a small unit of people floundering amidst the surrounding crowd.
            The companionship of supportive people can be more healing than any medicine or fitness program.
            Drifting away from others can become a self-propelling state. Stop and think of opportunities to connect. Friends? Family? A support group? Sometimes a sympathetic stranger who “gets” your situation is more uplifting than people we share emotional baggage with.
            Life throws plenty of curveballs. Pick yourself up and reach out. Find someone kind to walk part of your path with you.
            And when you can, offer a hand to others who need warmth and friendship.
            This week’s Hike Notes, Ecology Trail in the Presidio, introduces a quiet trail within a busy city, good for solo reflection time or for walking side by side with companions.
            Please feel free to share. If you’re not able to take one of these Northern California hikes, hopefully you can enjoy the photos!
            The list of hikes is getting long! Please check the Quick View Hike List or scroll down the main Hikes page to see the current list of hike notes.
New this week:
Hike Notes 64: Ecology Trail In the Presidio

Stopped In Our Tracks
            Occasionally, my severely autistic son stops suddenly in his tracks. Sometimes he appears to be in distress. Sometimes he’s just frozen in place.
            A neurological blip hitting a temporary off switch? A tangible memory he’s struggling to process? Stomach cramps?
            We don’t know. He has enough language to request a favorite food or person. He can yell words when he wants help spelling something for a YouTube search.
            But he can’t tell us why he abruptly freezes.
            Every life has frozen-in-the-tracks moments. An unexpected illness. Loss of a friendship, or a job, or one’s sense of self. Death of a loved one.
            My son snaps out of his frozen states eventually.
            The time-space continuum shifts into forward gear and his feet move on the trail again.
            Same for the rest of us. Despite life’s explosions that shock us into a stop-motion state, we get up and move again.
            One of our “stop-in-our-tracks” moments was when our son’s beloved “autism whisperer” passed away suddenly (see In Memory and Thanks). 
            We’re still here. We’re still walking.
            Keep putting one foot forward.
            This week’s Hike Notes, Phyllis Ellman Trail to Ring Mountain, leads up a hilly, rocky path to Ring Mountain in Tiburon. (For an outing directly to the Ring Mountain rock formation areas, see previous post, Ring Mountain-Tiburon.) 
            Please feel free to share. If you’re not able to take one of these Northern California hikes, hopefully you can enjoy the photos!
            The list of hikes is getting long! Please check the Quick View Hike List or scroll down the main Hikes page to see the current list of hike notes.
New this week:
Hike Notes 63: Phyllis Ellman Trail to Ring Mountain

A Helping Hand
            Some of us have a hard time reaching out for help, accepting help, acknowledging we need any help. The words “stubbornly independent” come to mind.
            For a person like my severely autistic son, there would be no life without constant support. We offer him help gladly, and he reaches his hand back in acceptance (most of the time).
            As a constantly worrying mom, I am grateful for others who help our son. And for people who support the rest of our family. And for those who push past my stubbornness to lift me up, knowing how moms can get bogged down in worry and never-ending challenges for our special needs family members.
            On this Mother’s Day weekend, I express gratitude to the people in the world who offer a helping hand to others. To those of us whose comfort zone is to offer help but not receive it: Remember to graciously accept offers of kindness and support. Helping hands travel on a two-way street.
            This week’s Hike Notes, Pacifica Pier from Mori Point, takes hikers on a 3-mile round trip walk along Old Mori Trail to the Coastal Trail in Pacifica. (For a more rugged hill hike in this area, see previous post, Mori Point.) 
            Please feel free to share. If you’re not able to take one of these Northern California hikes, hopefully you can enjoy the photos!
            The list of hikes is getting long! Please check the Quick View Hike List or scroll down the main Hikes page to see the current list of hike notes.
New this week:
Hike Notes 62: Pacifica Pier from Mori Point