April 29, 2018
 
Trying Something New
            Anything out of the routine can unleash powerful forces of anxiety and resistance for people on the autism spectrum.
            Most people in the general population also feel at least a little bit anxious when stepping out of their comfort zone.
            It took countless incremental steps and years of hard work by family, teachers, therapists and helpers to get our autistic son back out in the world after a stretch of being almost housebound.
            Once he was able to step out in the world again for hikes near our house, we knew we had to keep the ball rolling.
            PTSD-stricken special needs parents can feel as overwhelmed as their kids. We have to overcome “clouds of doom” panic attacks to get ourselves to new destinations. I imagine caregivers with loved ones facing other challenges feel the same way.
            Familiarize ahead of time. Pull out maps. Look up photos. Read descriptions online. We do a lot of things to calm our “autism-family-in-public” nerves when going to a new place.
            This week’s Hike Notes are about Milagra Ridge, a fairly easy hiking site in the Golden Gate National Recreation Area.
            Working past each “new-adventure anxiety-challenge” is worth the effort. Milagra Ridge has become a favorite easy hike near home.
            If you’re in the San Francisco Bay Area, give this pretty hike a try. Or just get out someplace new that you haven’t visited before, even if it’s just nearby!
            Please feel free to share. If you’re not able to take one of these Northern California hikes, hopefully you can enjoy the photos!
Hike Notes 1: Marin Headlands Visitor Center to Rodeo Beach
Hike Notes 2: Fitzgerald Marine Reserve
Hike Notes 3: Lands End Lookout to Mile Rock Beach
Hike Notes 4: Muir Beach to Pirates Cove
Hike Notes 5: Devil’s Slide
Hike Notes 6: Wave Organ- Crissy Field
Hike Notes 7: Tennessee Valley
Hike Notes 8: Fort Funston Beach Walk
Hike Notes 9: Milagra Ridge

April 22, 2018
 
So Close and Yet So Far
            At times, something right in front of us feels unreachable.
            Anxiety, PTSD, illness, exhaustion, physical trauma, logistical barriers, lack of resources (physical, mental or financial), or other circumstances beyond our control hold us back.
            For us, having a family member on the autism spectrum means that just getting through the day can feel impossible. Others are held back by different sets of obstacles, both tangible and intangible. Taking that first step forward, no matter how humble, feels too daunting.
            Waves of opportunity occasionally sneak up. Ignited by a momentary sense of courage and determination, we may surprise ourselves. We get to a place—in ourselves or in the world—that had felt impossible.
            This week’s Hike Notes describe a place that is literally minutes from our front door in San Francisco. Our son struggled for years even to get to places this close to home.
This Fort Funston Beach Hike is now one of our easy go-to weekend walks. This short hike offers hang gliders overhead, ocean waves to one side and steep cliffs to the other. The stunning views don’t require miles of hiking.
            If you’re feeling stuck, look around. There may be a goal that is not as out of reach as you think!
            Please feel free to share. If you’re not able to take one of these Northern California hikes, hopefully you can enjoy the photos!
Hike Notes 1: Marin Headlands Visitor Center to Rodeo Beach
Hike Notes 2: Fitzgerald Marine Reserve
Hike Notes 3: Lands End Lookout to Mile Rock Beach
Hike Notes 4: Muir Beach to Pirates Cove
Hike Notes 5: Devil’s Slide
Hike Notes 6: Wave Organ- Crissy Field
Hike Notes 7: Tennessee Valley
Hike Notes 8: Fort Funston Beach Walk

“Help!” (to the tune of the Beatles classic)
            Don’t need help. Don’t want help. Don’t know how to accept help when it’s offered.
            That was my mantra most of my life, as it is for many others—until we face something that we just can’t get through without some sort of support: Emotional, physical, financial, medical, logistical—whatever it is we need to survive.
            We finally found a wonderful helper when our son’s neurodevelopmental challenges had us virtually trapped in our own home. And then our helper passed away. He wouldn’t have wanted us to give up, so we reached out and found wonderful new helpers.
            Whatever your troubles, take a deep breath and ask for help. Ask again. Someone is out there to help you.
            If you are capable of helping others, offer it. If declined the first time, offer again—to the same person or someone else.
            This week’s Hike Notes are about a place my son and I went with our new outdoor helper shortly after the loss of our first “miracle worker.” Something about Tennessee Valley made me feel for the first time in our grief that I might feel hope and happiness again.
            Tennessee Valley is about 3.5 miles round trip, with only moderate grades to climb. The reward of reaching the small but dramatic beach at the end of the valley is worth the walk.
            Please feel free to share. If you’re not able to take one of these Northern California hikes, hopefully you can enjoy the photos!
Hike Notes 1: Marin Headlands Visitor Center to Rodeo Beach
Hike Notes 2: Fitzgerald Marine Reserve
Hike Notes 3: Lands End Lookout to Mile Rock Beach
Hike Notes 4: Muir Beach to Pirates Cove
Hike Notes 5: Devil’s Slide
Hike Notes 6: Wave Organ- Crissy Field
Hike Notes 7: Tennessee Valley

April 8, 2018
 
Make It Easy On Yourself
            Those of us who devote major time and energy taking care of others often forget to take care of ourselves.
         The opening line of the old Burt Bacharach/Hal David classic, “Make It Easy On Yourself,” came to mind this week. I was yet again chastising myself for not accomplishing enough on the “take-care-of-everything-and-everyone-around-me” front.
            The song is off theme, being a romantic break-up song, but the title could just as easily be “Take It Easy On Yourself.”
           We’ve all been told that parents in an airplane emergency should put their oxygen mask on first to remain functional and able to help others.
            Wise friends remind me to apply that to life in general. Even the most steadfast caregivers need to take a break. Stop being so demanding of ourselves. Take the easier path once in a while.
            When our family hits an energy slump and we want to take a walk in a beautiful place without driving far or climbing high, we often end up at Crissy Field, spending a little bit of beach time, catching views of Alcatraz and the Golden Gate Bridge, and taking the quirky walk to the Wave Organ, half science project/half art installation.
            This week’s Hike Notes are an easy destination right in San Francisco, the Wave Organ-Crissy Field. This is an outing that offers high impact views with low energy output.
            Please feel free to share. If you’re not able to take one of these Northern California hikes, hopefully you can enjoy the photos!
Hike Notes 1: Marin Headlands Visitor Center to Rodeo Beach
Hike Notes 2: Fitzgerald Marine Reserve
Hike Notes 3: Lands End Lookout to Mile Rock Beach
Hike Notes 4: Muir Beach to Pirates Cove
Hike Notes 5: Devil’s Slide
Hike Notes 6: Wave Organ- Crissy Field

Not Just a Label
            “Autistic.” WHAM! With that one word applied to our son, the color of our world changed, and the once-solid ground under our feet felt like quicksand.
            It took a while for the dust to settle enough to feel that Sean was still Sean. Still a sweet boy who happened to have difficulties on countless fronts. Still unconditionally lovable. We now had an added framework for learning about his challenges.
            Labels might reflect something about us, but they do not define us.
            A diagnosis of physical or mental illness. One’s religion or political affiliation. A racial or gender related label. An addiction named out loud. None of us is wholly what one word represents.
            We are all many-faceted beings. Do not let a label scare yourself or others into thinking there is nothing else but that.
            On the scary word theme, if a road name could intimidate a driver, it would be Devil’s Slide. Like other misleadingly frightening labels, though, Devil’s Slide in this week’s Hike Notes is now a stunning pedestrians-only path allowing visitors to walk safely along a once dangerously beautiful road (now bypassed using much safer twin tunnels).
            Please feel free to share. If you’re not able to take one of these Northern California hikes, hopefully you can enjoy the photos!
Hike Notes 1: Marin Headlands Visitor Center to Rodeo Beach
Hike Notes 2: Fitzgerald Marine Reserve
Hike Notes 3: Lands End Lookout to Mile Rock Beach
Hike Notes 4: Muir Beach to Pirates Cove
Hike Notes 5: Devil’s Slide