The “Thank You” We Forget
            Hopefully the reflective moments of gratitude we find at Thanksgiving stick with us.
            In “Thanks to the Pied Pipers” last week, we thanked people who provide extraordinary levels of support to people like my special needs son. Feel free to share that message with anyone whose efforts deserve recognition—professional, volunteer, family member or friend.
            As the mom of an autistic son, over long years I have given out countless thank you hugs to every imaginable variety of teacher, therapist, and helper, not to mention friends and family members who reach out in kindness to our quirky family. 99% of those hugs involve held-back gratitude tears.
            Things people say about my son as I thank them catch me by surprise.
            “He has taught me more than I’ve taught him.”
            “He brings joy to the people who work with him.”
            “He’s braver than I’ll ever be, just managing a typical day.”
            I, and maybe other family members of people with exceptional challenges, on whatever front—developmental issues, age related dementia or mobility issues, chronic or terminal illness, addiction, depression, PTSD—forget the level of challenge our family members face just to get through a day, or an hour, or a minute.
            Navigating any given day for them can be physically and mentally draining.
            And it may be exhausting again tomorrow. And the next day.
            And yet they carry on.
            Thanks to people facing exceptional challenges in our lives, for their indomitable spirit, and for allowing us to work together to move forward.
            This week’s Hike Notes are about visiting Point Lobos State Natural Reserve, a postcard-perfect place we visited this fall on a trip to Big Sur. One night away from home is a huge challenge for my son, and two nights is doubly hard. But there we were, expanding our horizons together, hard as it was for him.
            Please feel free to share. If you’re not able to take one of these Northern California hikes, hopefully you can enjoy the photos!
            The list of hikes is getting long! Please check the Quick View Hike List or scroll down the main Hikes page to see the current list of hike notes.
New this week:
Hike Notes 38: Point Lobos State Natural Reserve

Thanks to the Pied Pipers
            Gratitude (expressing and receiving) lifts us mentally and physically. We don’t have to wait for Thanksgiving to be thankful.
            Sensory defensiveness makes people on the autism spectrum appear disconnected from their surroundings, but they’re paying way more attention than we realize.
            Special needs therapists, teachers, helpers, family members and friends act as a kind of Pied Piper. They capture the attention of individuals whose instinct is to turn away, and lead them forward.
            One of our son’s “Pied Pipers” miraculously guided him back to the outside world from a seemingly impenetrable sensory fortress that kept him practically housebound. 
            Though he is no longer with us on earth, every day I say a thank you to that remarkable young teacher for his “autism whisperer” intuition.
            The Pied Piper analogy hit me years ago when I looked at this photo of our son with his magical helper at Fort Point in San Francisco.
            Our son has been blessed with many special helpers. His Pied Piper of nature trails and cabins. His Pied Piper of emotional connection. His Pied Piper of being in a loud, busy world.
            Insightful and devoted teachers, classroom assistants, speech therapists, occupational therapists, physical therapists, behavior, communication, nutrition and education specialists… too many helpers to label. Doctors and dentists with astounding levels of patience. Friends and family who open their hearts and homes despite the challenges.
            To all of the people who offer help to families like ours, we thank you.
            This week’s Hike Notes are about visiting Fort Point, a Civil War era brick fort directly under the Golden Gate Bridge. The proximity to the bridge and stunning views makes this a place our family never gets tired of. It’s more of a “physically active outing” than a hike, but the stairs and waterside walkway offer plenty of opportunity for exercise!
            Please feel free to share. If you’re not able to take one of these Northern California hikes, hopefully you can enjoy the photos!
            The list of hikes is getting long! Please check the Quick View Hike List or scroll down the main Hikes page to see the current list of hike notes.
New this week:
Hike Notes 37: Fort Point

Man Down
            Walking along a trail, a sidewalk, or a hallway… BAM! Your autistic family member falls to his knees, and won’t budge. Maybe hits the ground flat out, face down. In front of moving traffic. Possibly crying and pounding his fists. Or silent, but clinging to the ground as if to save his life.
            Or maybe he turns to face you and gives you a skull-numbing head butt. Or suddenly, teeth chomp down on your forearm or shoulder.
            Countless sudden behavior issues like this have popped up for our family. We hear similar descriptions of unpredictable behavior from other families with a member on the autism spectrum.
            Our experience pales in comparison to that of many families.
            A huge challenge for many is difficulty communicating. If your family member can’t use language to indicate excruciating stomach cramps or a debilitating migraine headache, they may act out aggressively instead.
            Peeling away the onion layers of some underlying causes of our son’s behaviors has been a years-long process. Positive highlight: We saw aggressive behavior virtually disappear after we figured out food allergy problems.
            Unraveling the mystery of unexpected behavior bursts is not easy. However, during the ongoing problem-solving process, being out on a scenic trail always provides some comfort for our son. And for us. 
            Time in nature doesn’t “cure” things, but it offers sensory calm during the storms. The serenity our son finds during his time outdoors carries over in part to home and school. 
            Nature can help any of us bounce back from trouble. We stumble. We look up at the sky and take a deep breath. We pick ourselves up, and step a foot forward again.
            This week’s Hike Notes are about Azalea Hill and Alpine Lake Trail, a beautiful, lesser known hike in the Marin Watershed where my son happened to have several “man down” moments on the trail, but came through happily in the end.
            Please feel free to share. If you’re not able to take one of these Northern California hikes, hopefully you can enjoy the photos!
            The list of hikes is getting long! Please check the Quick View Hike List or scroll down the main Hikes page to see the current list of hike notes.
New this week:
Hike Notes 36: Azalea Hill and Alpine Lake Trail

Wandering in the Mist
            Living at the western edge of San Francisco means living in fog. Not 365 days of the year, but sometimes it feels that way.
            We complain about overcast skies, wondering when we’ll see sun and blue sky again.
            Confession: A lot of us actually like the fog. 
            In the rare stretches of sunny hot weather, which means anything above 80 °F, by day three, we’re begging for cool foggy air again.
            Fog can get so thick you can’t see a car ten feet in front of you. Walking on a misty, tree-lined path, sometimes you can’t see what’s coming around the corner.
            Here it is, the saw-it-coming-a-mile-away hikingautism.com metaphor: Life in the special needs world, and I would argue life for anyone, sometimes feels like walking through dense fog.
            Not knowing what’s lurking in the hazy space ahead can be foreboding. Parts of the path might actually lead through dark, troubling places.
            But there are also happy surprises. We walk past a dense, dark line of trees, and follow a sharp bend in the trail. Suddenly before us, a serene, mist-covered lake appears. The sun burns through the haze above, and birds float on the water below.
            We can’t control our life paths completely, just like we can’t control the weather. If we’re lucky, we have good people to walk together with part of the way. When you least expect it, a bright glow of goodness may counterbalance a dark stretch.
            This week’s Hike Notes introduce a Lake Merced-Harding Park Stroll, an easy walk in the southwest corner San Francisco. Every outing does not have to be a strenuous hike. Sometimes a little fresh air, pretty scenery, and a short walk are just what we need. (A longer Lake Merced walk will appear in a future post.)
            Please feel free to share. If you’re not able to take one of these Northern California hikes, hopefully you can enjoy the photos!
            The list of hikes is getting long! Please check the Quick View Hike List or scroll down the main Hikes page to see the current list of hike notes.
New this week:
Hike Notes 35: Lake Merced-Harding Park Stroll