The Humility of Help
            Help, requested or offered, is a humbling concept. “Help” implies vulnerability.
            An aging mother who struggles to take a bath safely.
            A young adult son without the language to explain his agitation.
            A grandfather with dementia who requires constant supervision.
            A daughter dependent on others to provide nutrition through a feeding tube.
            A teenage boy unable to tie his own shoes. Or clip his own fingernails. Or take a shower unaided.
            Those of us providing help to loved ones often need help ourselves. Help with logistics. Help juggling time and money resources under constant strain. Help recharging our own bodies and spirits so we can carry on.
            For some of us, reaching out for help feels harder than dealing with caregiving challenges.
            Somewhere, there is a person or organization who can ease your struggle.
            Ask for help. If nothing works out the first time, ask again. Reach out again until you find support.
            When I’m feeling discouraged, lacking support I need at a given moment, I offer help to someone who is having a harder time than me. That never fails to give a lift.
            Offer help. If your help doesn’t match someone’s needs, try again. Somewhere, someone needs what you have to offer.
            To the countless people who have helped our family and other families coping with similar struggles: Thank you for your heartfelt kindness, and for humbling yourselves to walk with us through our challenges.
            This week’s Hike Notes introduce Black Sands Beach, a rugged but inviting stretch of beach. Reached by a sometimes steep trail and stairs, the path to Black Sands Beach offers dramatic views of the Marin Headlands shore.
            Please feel free to share. If you’re not able to take one of these Northern California hikes, hopefully you can enjoy the photos!
            The list of hikes is getting long! Please check the Quick View Hike List or scroll down the main Hikes page to see the current list of hike notes.
New this week:
Hike Notes 31: Black Sands Beach

Lengthening Shadows
            My favorite seasons in sequence: Autumn, Winter, Spring, Summer. As a kid growing up surrounded by fields and creeks in the Adirondack foothills, autumn was irresistibly seductive.
            By mid August, late afternoon walks along country roads meant grasshoppers hopping en masse, their dry, light bodies sometimes striking me on the cheek.
            September mornings waiting for the school bus meant footprints left on frost-covered grass.
            What range of yellows, oranges and reds would appear? Years with less dramatic temperature changes deprived us of the brightest reds, but the unfailing kaleidoscope of yellow, orange and brown leaves was magical enough.
            Northern California doesn’t have the wide-scale dramatic fall foliage I grew up with back east. But still. I think of my feet hitting a rosy brown leaf-covered trail, autumn light filtering through the dense trees of Mt. Tam. My heart catches in my throat.
            Though he can’t say it in words, I know my autistic son absorbs the subtle differences in light and color when we hike in the fall.
            Fortunately, enjoying nature doesn’t always require a long drive. This week’s Glen Canyon Park from Above Hike Notes introduce one of many stunning parks within San Francisco proper. Glen Canyon Park offers a variety of visual treats, whether walking along lower level trails or descending into the park from above.
            Please feel free to share. If you’re not able to take one of these Northern California hikes, hopefully you can enjoy the photos!
            The list of hikes is getting long! Please check the Quick View Hike List or scroll down the main Hikes page to see the current list of hike notes.
New this week:
Hike Notes 30: Glen Canyon Park from Above

Because
I cry:
   because the challenge is relentless.
   because I can’t help those who have it even harder.
   because I’m tired.
   because strangers are kind, and friends are resilient.
   because I love my son.
   because of trees, ocean and sky.
   because tears are a path for an overflowing heart.
 
            Special needs families get to enjoy a unique kind of love while coping with difficulties that are unfamiliar to many. One of the hardest things for our son on the autism spectrum is to spend even one night away from home, much less two.
            One of the things I most love to do is be out and about in the world. A world traveler in my pre-autism life, I now struggle to get our motley crew out for even a one night cabin stay near home.
            Once in a great while, with a lot of effort and help, we manage to get a little further afield. For decades, I dreamed of seeing the Big Sur coast. We recently had that chance.
            This week’s Hike Notes are about one of my favorite walks during our Big Sur visit: Pacific Valley Bluff Trail. An inconspicuous gate opens to a cow field, with waving wheat bordering the path to the edge of the bluffs. It made for a perfect comforting blend of the cow fields where I grew up back east and the dramatic shores of the West Coast where I live now.
            Please feel free to share. If you’re not able to take one of these Northern California hikes, hopefully you can enjoy the photos!
            The list of hikes is getting long! Please check the Quick View Hike List or scroll down the main Hikes page to see the current list of hike notes.
New this week:
Hike Notes 29: Pacific Valley Bluff Trail

(hikingautism.com is posting ahead of schedule this week)

The View
            Not so many years ago, our autistic son (and thus the rest of the family) was practically housebound due to his complex combination of sensory and neurological issues.
            As the scope of his world contracted, so did ours.
            A miraculous turning point allowed us to shift our compass from inward to outward.
            From then on, with steadfast outside support, month by month, outing by outing, our son’s excursion range expanded.
            Short walks near home became several-mile steep climbs up Mt. Tam.
            Drinking in the pastel colors of a broad horizon or scanning the visual patterns of a forest far below always lifts the weight of the world off my shoulders. Troubles always seem smaller outdoors.
            I watch my son standing on a high peak, looking out at the wide world. What is he thinking? How does he feel? He doesn’t have the words to articulate those things yet, but some day maybe he will. For now, seeing him calm and steady is enough.
            This week’s Hike Notes are about the grand view from Loma Alta – Smith Ridge. There are multiple options for getting to the peak of Loma Alta Open Space Preserve, one of the higher points in Marin. The climb from the southeast (today’s Hike Notes link) is less steep than the hike from the west (to appear in a future post). Overcast or clear, there are treats for the eyes along the trail as well as at the top.
            Please feel free to share. If you’re not able to take one of these Northern California hikes, hopefully you can enjoy the photos!
            The list of hikes is getting long! Please check the Quick View Hike List or scroll down the main Hikes page to see the current list of hike notes.
New this week:
Hike Notes 28: Loma Alta – Smith Ridge

Finding Vacation
            Ask parents of school age children how summer “vacation” is, and they’ll roll their eyes at the irony.
            Ask the same thing of a special needs parent, and you’ll get a catatonic stare.
            Relaxation is not the operative word with young kids off the daily school routine. Parents of typically developing kids do, however, anticipate a light at the end of the tunnel when their children gain independence.
            For those with special needs children, summers are expensive both in terms of lost work time by parents and money spent on outside support. That’s if special needs resources are even available. For families coping with more severe challenges, the light at the end of the tunnel from constant caregiving might never appear.
            Our summers are a trade off between which parent is going to watch our son while the other parent spends sporadic hours earning income. By the time school started in mid August this year, we had pretty much missed out on typical summer activities.
            On Saturday a week after school started, we determinedly gathered our summer swim stuff and made our way to our go-to swimming place north of the Golden Gate Bridge. With school already in session but the pool open until Labor Day, we had the pool entirely to ourselves.
            Our son could be his quirky self without bothering other swimmers, and we had our belated flash of summer break. Bright moments don’t always follow a schedule.
            Today’s Hike Notes are about the easy bayside walk at McNears Beach Park. An outing doesn’t have to be a challenging hike. Sometimes a brief stroll on a paved walkway, and quiet moments contemplating shorebirds and boats on the horizon are just the thing.
            Please feel free to share. If you’re not able to take one of these Northern California hikes, hopefully you can enjoy the photos!
            The list of hikes is getting long! Please check the Quick View Hike List or scroll down the main Hikes page to see the current list of hike notes.
New this week:
Hike Notes 27: McNears Beach Park