Across the Water
Standing on the San Francisco side of the Golden Gate Bridge, I look north across the Golden Gate—the water beneath the bridge that connects the Pacific Ocean and San Francisco Bay—and think longingly of what Marin hike I might do next. There are plenty of great walks filled with natural wonders—plant, animal and mineral—on the San Francisco side. Yet familiarity dulls our vision of the treasures at our feet. The thought of battling traffic to cross the Golden Gate Bridge becomes a mental obstacle, but in truth crossing the bridge to the Marin side usually takes only a few minutes. Standing at any of countless Marin side vista spots, I look back across the water and see the San Francisco skyline and the contours of its western edge. “Look, Sean,” I say to my autistic son, pointing toward Ocean Beach in the distance. “Our house is over there.” “House!” he says. We enjoy a Marin hike, long or short, and drink up the views whether we’re at beach level or high in the mountains. And every time we drive back along the curves and through the tunnel that frames a postcard view of the Golden Gate Bridge, I look forward to being on our side of the water again. Going a short distance that offers a different vantage point can give us a fresh appreciation of our everyday stomping grounds. If you can’t go out, try looking out a different window to see the world from a different angle. May we all make opportunities to freshen our perspectives! This week’s HikingAutism Hike Notes from the archives is Fort Baker, a historic site in the Golden Gate National Recreation Area just north of the Golden Gate Bridge, offering iconic views back to the San Francisco skyline from a cozy cove by a fishing pier, marina, and historic military sites. This week’s Hike Notes from the Archives: (Original Hike Notes 126): Fort Baker Click Insights/Hike Update News for inspiring reflections. Browse hikes on the main Hikes page or on the Hike Search by Area page. Check out selected articles and interviews under Media. Click World Walks to see or share favorite family-friendly walks! Stay in touch with Lisa Louis and HikingAutism via Contact. See products with inspiring designs that support the efforts of HikingAutism under Support/Shop. The Links page lists a loose collection of helpful information links. Check the Home page for the broader background story. If you’re not able to take one of these Northern California hikes, hopefully you can enjoy the photo galleries at the bottom of each hike page! Feel free to share and follow on Facebook at HikingAutism, follow on Twitter at @HikingAutism and Instagram at lisalouis777
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Unexpected Memories
Our autistic son Sean had a magical young teacher who passed away suddenly (In Memory and Thanks). We were devastated. My mind swirled with memories: activities he’d done with Sean, his words of wisdom, the hope we experienced through his work with Sean. I learned that grief is not a predictable force following an orderly progression. Just when I thought I had no tears left, a flickering shadow, a leaf skittering across the sidewalk, or a song on the radio would bring on a wave of renewed pain. This past year I lost both my parents. In contrast to the sudden loss of a young person, though the initial shock of knowing we’ll never hear a person’s voice again is still jolting, when an aging loved one has been suffering with health troubles, there is also some relief that the person will be at peace. The grieving starts before they’re actually gone. My dad was a best friend who I loved talking to about everything under the sun. Hearing a Dave Brubeck tune or a Beethoven piano sonata on the radio can bring a wave of memories: my dad playing the piano at night with the sound wafting upstairs, an unintended lullaby for my brothers and I listening from under our blankets. I don’t have as many everyday memory triggers for my mom. Today, though, suffering from a bad cold for the first time in ages, I felt frustrated, tired and ready to cry, just like I did when I was a child staying home from school with the flu. All I could think of is that I wanted a bowl of hot soup, and we didn’t have any. My mom was kindest to me when I was sick. I don’t know how many cans of Campbells Chicken and Stars soup she served me over the years, but she knew that specific soup with some saltine crackers broken over the top made me feel better and she always had it on hand. The memory of her bringing me soup when I was a kid brought a bigger wave of tears than I’ve allowed myself in all the four months since she passed away. Maybe fear of the overwhelming pain of losing a parent leads us to suppress the grief. Our autistic younger son doesn’t really understand that his grandpa and grandma are dead. By the same token, he doesn’t really understand when we explain that his big brother has gone far away on an airplane. I don’t know what sets off his memories of grandpa, grandma, or his big brother, but he says their names and looks at photos of them on the computer. Is loving someone without understanding the finality of death easier? Is not understanding the concept of someone living far away harder? I don’t know. My son’s language challenges mean we can’t have a conversation about it, so we plod forward with our unique views of how the world works, finding a way to make each day a good one in some way. I still talk cheerfully about grandma and grandpa when my son looks at old photos, and that makes me feel better, too. I wish everyone the occasional cleansing cry and the ability to keep moving forward! This week’s Hike Notes, Old Mine Trail- Mountain Theater to Pantoll, takes readers on the descending leg of a loop hike from Pantoll Campground to the Mountain Theater (Cushing Memorial Amphitheater) and back, featuring some of Mt. Tam’s most stunning view spots. Check the Home page for the broader background story. Click Insights/Hike Update News for inspiring reflections. Browse hikes on the main Hikes page or on the Hike Search by Area page, and scroll to the bottom of each hike page to see full photo galleries. If you’d like to support HikingAutism, check out the Support/Shop page! Check out selected articles and interviews under Media. Click World Walks to see or share favorite family-friendly walks! Stay in touch with Lisa Louis and HikingAutism via Contact. The Links page lists a loose collection of helpful information links. Feel free to share and follow on Facebook at HikingAutism, follow on Twitter at @HikingAutism and Instagram at lisalouis777 New this week: Hike Notes 196: Old Mine Trail- Mountain Theater to Pantoll Behind the Mist
Many cultures have a tradition of reflecting on events of the past year and expressing hopes for the coming year. I heard, “Hoping next year is better,” more often than usual this time as we celebrated the transition to the New Year. Every year has devastating challenges. Every year has positive highlights. If terrible things happen toward the end of a year, we tend to remember the whole in that negative light. If it ends with a big positive bang, we feel hopeful. The future lies behind a misty veil. We can make educated guesses about the paths of our lives, but there will always be surprises. That makes life both challenging and exciting. There is a beauty in that mysterious fog obscuring our view. Appreciating the spot we’re in right now and accepting that the future is hazy by nature is a skill we can practice for living with less anxiety. May we all learn to embrace the moment we’re in, and to walk through the curtain of the unknown with a positive spirit. Keep putting one foot forward! This week’s HikingAutism Hike Notes from the archives is Devil’s Gulch, where hikers experience mossy, damp, shady trails, as well as open sky spaces with grassy spaces sometimes covered in mist, and turkey vultures flying overhead. This week’s Hike Notes from the Archives: (Original Hike Notes 123): Devil’s Gulch Click Insights/Hike Update News for inspiring reflections. Browse hikes on the main Hikes page or on the Hike Search by Area page. Check out selected articles and interviews under Media. Click World Walks to see or share favorite family-friendly walks! Stay in touch with Lisa Louis and HikingAutism via Contact. See products with inspiring designs that support the efforts of HikingAutism under Support/Shop. The Links page lists a loose collection of helpful information links. Check the Home page for the broader background story. If you’re not able to take one of these Northern California hikes, hopefully you can enjoy the photo galleries at the bottom of each hike page! Feel free to share and follow on Facebook at HikingAutism, follow on Twitter at @HikingAutism and Instagram at lisalouis777 Together and Apart
My older son moved to London for his job two years ago. It felt like he was disappearing forever. Fortunately, the magic of video calls makes me feel like he’s right next door chatting. The helpful illusion of video calls doesn’t work for our autistic son for some reason. Despite his big brother talking to him face to face on screen, Sean has to be prompted several times to even acknowledge him. With a year-long gap between holiday visits, Sean doesn’t fully believe his big brother is here in person when he first arrives home. Once he fully accepts that his brother his physically present, though, Sean doesn’t want him out of his sight. “Alec, couch! Alec!” he yells repeatedly when his brother is out of the room. “He’ll be right back,” we reassure Sean. “He’ll sit with you for dinner.” Holidays over, with our older son flying back to London for work, we can’t tell Sean that he’ll be sitting with him for dinner. Sean can feel it in the air when his big brother is getting ready to leave. “Mommy! Dad! Alec!” he has been yelling the last couple of days. He wants all three family members to be together with him as we have been for the last several weeks. My heart feels a little stab every time he calls his brother’s name. He will go back to holding hands with one of us parents instead of his brother when we hike. He’ll ask someone else to sit with him. We will shift back to our routines and adjust. And we will yet again be grateful for the magic of video chats. May we all find a way to hug the ones we love, even virtually, and keep putting one foot forward! This week’s Hike Notes, Easy Grade Trail-Pantoll to Mountain Theater, leads readers on the ascending leg of a loop hike from Pantoll Campground to the Mountain Theater (Cushing Memorial Amphitheater), a moderate climb through woods with some open view spots along the way. Check the Home page for the broader background story. Click Insights/Hike Update News for inspiring reflections. Browse hikes on the main Hikes page or on the Hike Search by Area page, and scroll to the bottom of each hike page to see full photo galleries. If you’d like to support HikingAutism, check out the Support/Shop page! Check out selected articles and interviews under Media. Click World Walks to see or share favorite family-friendly walks! Stay in touch with Lisa Louis and HikingAutism via Contact. The Links page lists a loose collection of helpful information links. Feel free to share and follow on Facebook at HikingAutism, follow on Twitter at @HikingAutism and Instagram at lisalouis777 New this week: Hike Notes 195: Easy Grade Trail-Pantoll to Mountain Theater |
Lisa LouisSharing insights and hiking highlights (Hikes, Hike Search by Area) from the special needs caregiver front in San Francisco. Archives
February 2025
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