The Fallen Petal
            When I was a kid, my oldest brother spoke about how Japanese samurai looked at death like falling cherry blossoms. A symbolic bit of short-lived beauty fluttering to the ground in an aesthetically exquisite and noble demise. A lifelong fascination was ignited.
            I lived in Japan for five and a half years during my twenties. The Japanese passion for cherry blossoms is not just a cultural stereotype. Celebrating their transient beauty at their fleeting floral peak truly is a national pastime.
            The transitory nature of life sounds romantic in poetry, but for those of us who’ve experienced the sudden, unexpected loss of a young, apparently healthy person—never a chance to say goodbye, never a chance to express loving gratitude—once is more than enough.
          Sudden loss can lead to complicated grief, one that never seems to process fully. The HikingAutism.com web site is part of my ongoing grief process about the unexpected loss of our young “autism whisperer.”
            And yet we might experience such a loss again. And it hurts as much the second time. This week’s post is dedicated to the memory of another beautiful soul lost suddenly from our world.
            One can only keep walking forward, and believe that the overwhelming sadness will someday evolve into happy ways of celebrating a life once lived, and the legacy left behind.
            In western culture, it is a falling rose petal that symbolizes the intertwining of death and beauty.
            This week’s Hike Notes leads readers to the Rose Garden – Golden Gate Park, home to stellar examples of the western world’s iconic flower, the rose, and a great visiting spot for longer walks in San Francisco’s Golden Gate Park.
            The long list of Hikes can be found on the Quick View Hike List and on the main Hikes page. All past Insights posts can also be viewed in the Insights/Hike Update News archives.
            Check the Home page for the broader background story. If you’re not able to take one of these Northern California hikes, hopefully you can enjoy the photo galleries at the bottom of each hike page! Click Insights/Hike Update News for inspiring reflections. Please feel free to share.
New this week:
Hike Notes 108: Rose Garden – Golden Gate Park

Life Before and After
            On Memorial Day weekend, as we honor fallen members of the military, we may remember others who have passed away.
            Some of us will experience something so earth shattering in our lives that from that moment forward, everything is demarcated as “Before [Event X]” and “After [Event X].”
            For some, the turning point may be a dark world changing event like 9/11, or a personal blow like death or illness of a loved one. For others it may be a shining moment like meeting the love of one’s life, or the birth of a child. Even life reference points that stem from dark events may create brightness going forward.
            Facing what seemed like insurmountable obstacles to help our severely autistic son, the appearance—and then disappearance—of a remarkable young teacher was a life changing time for our family.
            The arrival of quiet but brilliant “autism whisperer” David miraculously flipped an on switch for our son Sean, who was trapped under countless layers of neurological and sensory difficulties. David’s instincts worked like magic, bringing astounding progress every week. It felt like a dream too good to be true.
            And then suddenly he was gone, stolen from the earth by an undetected heart condition. My world has never been the same.
            I thought hope died together with our miracle worker, but his good spirit and brilliant insights kept us on the trail from housebound despair to a fuller life out in the world. Thanks to David’s legacy and the help of beloved helpers who followed, I get to share the many hikes Sean can now do with HikingAutism.com readers.
            I feel constant gratitude for the generous heart of helpers, teachers, therapists, friends and family members who support people coping with challenges like those of our son. That uplifting spirit lives on even after a person is gone.
            This week’s Hike Notes are from the archives, Marin Headlands Visitor Center to Rodeo Beach. This week’s Insights photo is Sean and David on a favorite tree tunnel trail above Rodeo Beach.
            The long list of Hikes can be found on the Quick View Hike List and on the main Hikes page. All past Insights posts can also be viewed in the Insights/Hike Update News archives.
            Check the Home page for the broader background story. If you’re not able to take one of these Northern California hikes, hopefully you can enjoy the photo galleries at the bottom of each hike page! Click Insights/Hike Update News for inspiring reflections. Please feel free to share.
This week’s Hike Notes from the Archives:
(Original Hike Notes 1): Marin Headlands Visitor Center to Rodeo Beach

Climbing Those Stairs
            A few years ago, a beloved neighbor was battling a devastating illness. Despite the heavy toll it took, she kept walking for nearby errands. Though my instinct was to give her a hug as she walked by, some days I let her chug forward unimpeded. She was tapping all resources to make it to her own front steps and door.
            “I’m almost home. I’m almost home. I’m almost home,” she’d chant as she methodically picked up one foot after the other, until she got to those stairs and up to that door.
            Her instinctive determination to keep moving, to make it up those stairs by what strength she had left, was a heart wrenching inspiration to me.
            Maybe we all instinctively chant our way forward to persevere through hard times. The last few steps of a long stairway feel like that to me. “Just a few more steps, just a few more steps,” I think.
            As we search for ways to help our severely autistic son find progress and happiness, we have to keep moving, too, despite being tired sometimes.
            We keep climbing those stairs, climbing those stairs, climbing those stairs until we reach a plateau and have a chance to rest and catch the view.
            Then we’ll do the same thing again, happy to make it a few steps forward on a new day. May everyone find the strength to keep putting one foot forward, and the insight to stop and appreciate the view on those rest breaks.
            This week’s Hike Notes, Dragonfly Creek to Fort Scott - Presidio, leads readers along a variety of scenic stone stairways and paths, in a lesser traveled part of San Francisco’s Presidio.
            The long list of Hikes can be found on the Quick View Hike List and on the main Hikes page. All past Insights posts can also be viewed in the Insights/Hike Update News archives.
            Check the Home page for the broader background story. If you’re not able to take one of these Northern California hikes, hopefully you can enjoy the photo galleries at the bottom of each hike page! Click Insights/Hike Update News for inspiring reflections. Please feel free to share.
New this week:
Hike Notes 107: Dragonfly Creek to Fort Scott - Presidio

The Power of a Hug
            This unprecedented pandemic keeps us not only from hugging many people in our lives, but from even breathing the same air.
            The physical and emotional lift we receive from a hug carries forward beyond that moment. This time of isolation is when we need that boost the most. 
            Though we can’t share the emotional and physical health benefits of hugging as we do in normal times, we can share a similar feeling.
            Offer an unexpected kindness. Look someone in the eye and smile. As I laughingly do sometimes, do a little “air hug” from a social distance.
            As the mom of a severely autistic son, sometimes a hug is the most powerful tool in my toolbox. Though at times he rejects physical connection, when my son does want a warm embrace, it’s the best hug in the world.
            Happy Mother’s Day weekend, whether you are a mother or not. May your weekend include fresh air and uplifting scenery.
            Sending hugs via cyberspace to all. One day real hugs will be less difficult to come by.
            This week’s Hike Notes are from the archives, Mussel Rock and Paragliders, the site of this week’s Insights photo.
            The long list of Hikes can be found on the Quick View Hike List and on the main Hikes page. All past Insights posts can also be viewed in the Insights/Hike Update News archives.
            Check the Home page for the broader background story. If you’re not able to take one of these Northern California hikes, hopefully you can enjoy the photo galleries at the bottom of each hike page! Click Insights/Hike Update News for inspiring reflections. Please feel free to share.
This week’s Hike Notes from the Archives:
(Original Hike Notes 16): Mussel Rock and Paragliders

No Stone Unturned
            People seeking solutions to apparently unsolvable problems have a common trait. They do not give up.
            Parents of children facing intellectual, developmental, physical and other challenges work relentlessly to find things that help. We may go for years feeling like we’re banging our heads on a brick wall without progress. Giving up would be unbearable.
            Autism parents see children with great potential trapped under mysterious, intertwined layers of difficulty. Layer by layer, year by year, we search until we find even a tiny crack of progress. That tiny crack may lead to a big breakthrough. 
            Spending time in nature, combined with the physical exertion and sensory input of being on a hiking trail, was a crack that led to a gushing dam of progress for our son. (See Home page.)
            As we all deal with the restrictions of sheltering for the pandemic, the range for outdoor adventures has become narrower. Within our limited distance, we have discovered new back trails to walk. We have happily explored a series of small lakes that we’d never visited despite decades of living by Golden Gate Park.
            This week’s Hike Notes, Metson Lake – Golden Gate Park, brings readers to a charming, often overlooked, tiny lake in San Francisco’s Golden Gate Park.
            The long list of Hikes can be found on the Quick View Hike List and on the main Hikes page. All past Insights posts can also be viewed in the Insights/Hike Update News archives.
            Check the Home page for the broader background story. If you’re not able to take one of these Northern California hikes, hopefully you can enjoy the photo galleries at the bottom of each hike page! Click Insights/Hike Update News for inspiring reflections. Please feel free to share.
New this week:
Hike Notes 106: Metson Lake – Golden Gate Park

Beauty and Sadness
            Nature — a never ending source of wonder and awe. Most of us turn to nature for beauty, calm, and inspiration. But nature also reminds us of harsh realities.
            We make the most of our daily outing under shelter-in-place rules, taking our autistic son for a long walk without fail. Work deadlines had me thinking to stay home one day, until I remembered hearing that a whale had washed ashore nearby.
            “We have to go to Baker Beach!” I said, my enthusiasm boosted by the rare opportunity to observe a whale up close. Though family and friends laugh at my morbid curiosity, apparently I am not alone. Others had come to see the whale as well.
            While the young humpback whale’s death brought sadness, it also brought a sense of wonder. Researchers had taken necropsy samples to understand what caused the whale’s demise. The remaining form was a sculptural addition to the Golden Gate Bridge view. The whale was gone the next day.
            Nature brings both beauty and sadness, sometimes intertwined. Life is a long lesson in how to embrace both light and dark, while we have the opportunity.
            This week’s Hike Notes are from the archives, Lobos Creek to Baker Beach.
            The long list of Hikes can be found on the Quick View Hike List and on the main Hikes page. All past Insights posts can also be viewed in the Insights/Hike Update News archives.
            Check the Home page for the broader background story. If you’re not able to take one of these Northern California hikes, hopefully you can enjoy the photo galleries at the bottom of each hike page! Click Insights/Hike Update News for inspiring reflections. Please feel free to share.
This week’s Hike Notes from the Archives:
(Original Hike Notes 25): Lobos Creek to Baker Beach

Spirit Lifters
            Not a mystical entity. Not a traditional sacred object.
            A spirit lifter is any simple thing that brightens the moment.
            In this destabilizing time of the pandemic, we all need to lift our spirits.
            Trading chalk sidewalk drawings from a distance with kids next door. Accepting extra household items from a neighbor when all you find is empty store shelves. Adding their shopping list to yours for your next grocery trip.
            Other people-related “spirit lifters” might be surprising someone sheltering alone with a call, or doing family activities you hadn’t thought possible under normally hectic schedules.
            But sometimes we’re alone, and just need to lift our own spirits.
            Though our family walks familiar paths for our daily fresh air and exercise, things are different every time. Cherry blossom petals like confetti on the ground. Wildflowers in every color along trails. A songbird singing from a nearby branch. A beautifully colored duck. Unusual cloud patterns.
            At home, it could be the color of a sunset shadow, the sound of birds you can’t see, watching a spider build a web from your window.
            Nature offers an ever-changing array of spirit lifters. Take a deep breath, and keep eyes and ears open to things that offer a mental break from the cacophony of the news.
            This week’s Hike Notes, Stow Lake Outer Loop, takes readers on a walk along the outer path around San Francisco’s popular Stow Lake, a place our family has walked countless times, but where we always find something new to appreciate.
            The long list of Hikes can be found on the Quick View Hike List and on the main Hikes page. All past Insights posts can also be viewed in the Insights/Hike Update News archives.
            Check the Home page for the broader background story. If you’re not able to take one of these Northern California hikes, hopefully you can enjoy the photo galleries at the bottom of each hike page! Click Insights/Hike Update News for inspiring reflections. Please feel free to share.
New this week:
Hike Notes 105: Stow Lake Outer Loop

Blurred Reflections
            Parents of special needs children sometimes feel like they’re interpreting the world through a wobbly funhouse mirror. Attempting to raise a child with exceptional challenges following guidelines that work for “typically developing” kids leads to frustration and heartache. (And those of us with “typically developing” kids know that no child develops in a uniform pattern.)
            Like images on a wind-rippled pond, though we can identify sky, clouds and trees, the unpredictable distortion of the reflection due to wind, rain or falling debris makes everything feel tenuous.
            Helping a child who learns differently navigate the world means walking on unsteady ground. Despite decades of autism research, it feels like the harsh reality of the condition hasn’t changed much in the twenty years since our son was diagnosed. 
            Years of helping our son function in a world his brain isn’t wired for have been like trying to stabilize the rippling pond reflection. Things are always changing, and just when a branch or cloud comes into focus, the image changes again. Despite the struggles, there is beauty in that ever changing reflection.
            This time of pandemic when information changes minute by minute feels similar. Just when we think a solid scientific reality is coming into focus, an element of unpredictability ripples the reflection. Our path forward is muddled, but we soldier on based on the best data we have at the time.
            This week’s Hike Notes are from the archives, Bison, Fly Fishing and Horses – Golden Gate Park. The photo for this Insights post is from a shelter-in-place neighborhood walk to Anglers Lodge and Casting Pools near the bison paddock in San Francisco’s Golden Gate Park.
            The long list of Hikes can be found on the Quick View Hike List and on the main Hikes page. All past Insights posts can also be viewed in the Insights/Hike Update News archives.
            Check the Home page for the broader background story. If you’re not able to take one of these Northern California hikes, hopefully you can enjoy the photo galleries at the bottom of each hike page! Click Insights/Hike Update News for inspiring reflections. Please feel free to share.
This week’s Hike Notes from the Archives:
(Original Hike Notes 80): Bison, Fly Fishing and Horses – Golden Gate Park

Future Dreaming
            In dark times like our current frightening pandemic, we can feel trapped in the anxiety of the moment. We forget two calming anchors: the past and the future. There were happier times before, and better times await us ahead.
            We do need to face the current challenge head on, learning how to protect ourselves from a still mysterious and dangerous disease. The guidelines for handling the crisis change as fast as the numbers of people affected by it.
            Processing the threat of this new disease is important, but we don’t have to spend every minute of every day escalating into panic mode. Absorb the important information for safety and survival, and then try to spend time on calmer, more uplifting thoughts.
            Being of help to others—calling friends and family to lift each other up, helping an elderly neighbor get groceries, giving donations for online classes by teachers now out of work—is a way to help ourselves.
            Lifting our own spirits amidst more quiet time at home is also important. Within the safe space of our homes, we can take a walk down memory lane, looking through old photos or communications from happy times with loved ones.
            We can also dream of happy, pleasant things we’d like to do in the future, knowing that unavailable activities will be allowed again one day.
            The new Hike Notes for this difficult time is a location that I associate with both the past and future. Once barely able to leave our own house (see background story on the Home page), our family has enjoyed special trips to the Monterey, Pacific Grove, and Asilomar area with our severely autistic son. Images of magic moments like walking along the water’s edge at sunset not only brings back happy memories, but gives us something to look forward to again.
            This week’s Hike Notes, Lovers Point Sunset Stroll, offers images of an iconic part of the Pacific Grove/Monterey area at a magical time of day.
            The long list of Hikes can be found on the Quick View Hike List and on the main Hikes page. All past Insights posts can also be viewed in the Insights/Hike Update News archives.
            Check the Home page for the broader background story. If you’re not able to take one of these Northern California hikes, hopefully you can enjoy the photo galleries at the bottom of each hike page! Click Insights/Hike Update News for inspiring reflections. Please feel free to share.
New this week:
Hike Notes 104: Lovers Point Sunset Stroll

Strange Dream or Reality?
            I’ve had nightmares so compelling that I shed tears of relief upon waking to find it was just a dream.
            In a dream where I was forced to help hide a dead body, the fear of being punished for someone else’s crime induced a cold sweat. The tension evaporated when I woke to my conventional, law-abiding reality.
            I worried about my autistic son not speaking from early on. I once had a dream where he spoke so articulately, the sense of reality so vivid, that I felt a huge weight lift from my heart. His lack of speech had just been a bad dream. And then I woke up. His speaking was a dream, and his barely verbal state was the harsh reality.
            The good dream/bad dream scenario can go either way. Waking up can lift a burden or bring heartache.
            But what if something that feels like a dream isn’t? What if that strange dream is our reality?
            That’s what this virus pandemic situation feels like to many.
            By odd coincidence, just as the strange new reality of social distancing rules was setting in, the weather in our area offered stunning, billowy cloud formations that we rarely see in San Francisco skies. Every cloud had a bigger-than-life, only-in-a-painting quality to it. Those dreamlike white clouds on a bright blue palette continued for days.
            Walking under these unusual skies feels like being in a Maxfield Parrish painting. Then we arrive home to shocking statistics blaring from the TV.
            We are floating through a temporary Twilight Zone reality.
            For this week’s Hike Notes, I’m sharing a hike from the archives, Milagra Ridge. The photo for this Insights post is from a walk at Milagra Ridge the day before shelter in place was implemented in San Francisco.
            The long list of Hikes can be found on the Quick View Hike List and on the main Hikes page. All past Insights posts can also be viewed in the Insights/Hike Update News archives.
            Check the Home page for the broader background story. If you’re not able to take one of these Northern California hikes, hopefully you can enjoy the photo galleries at the bottom of each hike page! Click Insights/Hike Update News for inspiring reflections. Please feel free to share.
This week’s Hike Notes from the Archives:
(Original Hike Notes 9): Milagra Ridge