The Long Hard Climb
Last week I set aside work and special needs mom duties to travel and see my own mother. My severely autistic son requires high intensity supervision, so leaving for even a short time triggers anxiety and guilt. My husband and I take turns so the other can visit extended family, but several years usually elapse between visits. With a full day of air travel on either end, I spent three days decked out in Covid protective gear in the quarantine section of a health care facility with my mom. Like most of us, my mom has experienced some long, hard stretches of life. Having to spend time in a hospital for health issues has intensified the simple desire to get back to her own home, despite challenges in navigating daily life. We see a daunting, steep stretch of trail ahead. We may breathe a deep sigh before starting, but we keep marching forward. Why? Partly because that’s the only option life presents us. And partly because the grueling stretches of life sometimes reveal great rewards. We reach a resting spot, take in the scenery, and see how far we’ve come, and what a beautiful view there is. May we all find simple joys in our life endeavors. For some of us, the humble goal of seeing our distant loved ones, and helping them find their way home, is as big an accomplishment as someone else’s mountain climbing triumph. This week’s HikingAutism Hike Notes from the archives is Carson Falls, one of several Marin County waterfalls which offer the reward of beauty after a rigorous hike. This week’s Hike Notes from the Archives: (Original Hike Notes 133): Carson Falls Click Insights/Hike Update News for inspiring reflections. Browse hikes and photo galleries via the main Hikes page or the Hike Search by Area (was Quick View Hike List) page. Click World Walks to see or share favorite walks from readers! Stay in touch with Lisa Louis and HikingAutism via Contact. The Links page lists a loose collection of helpful information links. Check the Home page for the broader background story. Please feel free to share, and follow on Twitter at @HikingAutism
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Other Places
Many parents of children with extraordinary challenges have a difficult time traveling to check on extended family who live at a distance, but it’s important to visit our own parents. This week’s post is short as I go for a family visit in a warmer, tropical place. I recently visited San Francisco’s tropical plant treasure trove in the Conservatory of Flowers in Golden Gate Park for the first time since the pandemic, and was reminded how enticing bright greens and exotic flower shapes are. Next week will be back to a regular hike post, and in the meantime, happy trails! This week’s HikingAutism Hike Notes from the archives is Conservatory of Flowers, a San Francisco Historical Landmark filled with tropical plants that transport us to distant places. This week’s Hike Notes from the Archives: (Original Hike Notes 88): Conservatory of Flowers Click Insights/Hike Update News for inspiring reflections. Browse hikes and photo galleries via the main Hikes page or the Hike Search by Area (was Quick View Hike List) page. Click World Walks to see or share favorite walks from readers! Stay in touch with Lisa Louis and HikingAutism via Contact. The Links page lists a loose collection of helpful information links. Check the Home page for the broader background story. Please feel free to share, and follow on Twitter at @HikingAutism Transported
For years we’ve driven past an enticing cove protected by steep cliffs. The beach far below looked like it would be a stunner, but we put it off because visitors have to walk across popular scenic Route 1 at a curve in the road with no pedestrian crossing or stop sign to get to the beach trail. Our severely autistic son has a habit of stopping midway as we cross streets. Determined to finally answer the siren call of the beautiful cove, we parked, took a deep breath, held his hands tightly, and crossed safely to the beach side of the road. Before taking the trail and steep stairs down to the beach, we explored the shady clifftop area. The sculptural silhouette of trees framed cliffs and ocean views in multiple directions. “This looks like a Chinese ink painting,” someone said. Looking past angled tree branches to dramatic cliffs with waves crashing below made me feel like I’d been transported to an entirely different place. I could have been halfway around the world, not just a few miles south of our home in San Francisco. Just stepping on an unfamiliar trail near home can make us feel we’ve been transported to a different time and place. Our first visit to this scenic spot made it an instant favorite. Go ahead and stop at the places you’ve wondered about but never had the chance to explore. You might be surprised at what you’ve been missing! This week’s Hike Notes, Gray Whale Cove State Beach, leads readers down a long stairway to a stunning beach just south of Pacifica’s Devils Slide Tom Lantos Tunnels. Click Insights/Hike Update News for inspiring reflections. Browse hikes on the main Hikes page or on the Hike Search by Area (was Quick View Hike List) page. Click World Walks to see or share favorite family-friendly walks! Stay in touch with Lisa Louis and HikingAutism via Contact. The Links page lists a loose collection of helpful information links. Check the Home page for the broader background story. If you’re not able to take one of these Northern California hikes, hopefully you can enjoy the photo galleries at the bottom of each hike page! Please feel free to share on Facebook at HikingAutism, and follow on Twitter at @HikingAutism New this week: Hike Notes 175: Gray Whale Cove State Beach Feast or Famine
“Rain, rain, go away, come again some other day,” we used to sing in elementary school. One summer as a kid in Upstate New York, we set up camp in the Adirondacks for a two-week family vacation and didn’t have a single dry day. My dad spent hours in rain gear digging trenches to redirect the rain around our tent. As a long-time resident of California, I’ve wished for rain through many years of drought. It’s worrisome in a slow burning “When is this going to get better?” kind of way. And then the atmospheric rivers strike. Giant masses of moisture pummel the land relentlessly, toppling trees whose roots have been weakened by long years without enough water. Nature delivers traumatically damaging weather events, but plants, animals and people somehow keep going. Like the camp shovel my dad used to dig rain trenches, resilience and determination are handy tools as we face stormy stretches of life. Keep putting one foot forward! This week’s HikingAutism Hike Notes from the archives is Cataract Trail to Cataract Falls, a woodsy trail leading to one of Marin’s beloved waterfalls. This week’s Hike Notes from the Archives: (Original Hike Notes 100): Cataract Trail to Cataract Falls Click Insights/Hike Update News for inspiring reflections. Browse hikes and photo galleries via the main Hikes page or the Hike Search by Area (was Quick View Hike List) page. Click World Walks to see or share favorite walks from readers! Stay in touch with Lisa Louis and HikingAutism via Contact. The Links page lists a loose collection of helpful information links. Check the Home page for the broader background story. Please feel free to share, and follow on Twitter at @HikingAutism Like a Postcard
When I was a kid, we had View-Master devices that offered vivid, stereoscopic views of a wide range of subjects: the pyramids of Egypt, nature images from Yellowstone National Park, scenes from James Bond/007 movies. The vibrant, 3-D images brought a stirring sense of a perfect reality in those pre-high-tech days before high-definition TVs and virtual reality goggles. To this day, my husband and I catch ourselves on scenic hikes exclaiming, “Wow, that looks like a View-Master image!” We also find ourselves saying, “That’s a postcard view!” We’ve been to a couple of places where every angle offered a picture-perfect postcard image. Yosemite and Point Lobos State Natural Reserve come to mind. Most places we hike have at least a couple of postcard-worthy views. Sometimes our eyes fade away peripheral manmade structures to sense the illusion of an unimpeded nature view. That doesn’t make the beautiful parts any less worthy. May we all cultivate the ability to look past obstacles and emphasize positive highlights in our mind’s eye. Keep putting one foot forward! This week’s Hike Notes, Coyote Point Recreation Area, takes readers to a county park with a variety of easy trails and scenic views on the San Francisco Bay. Click Insights/Hike Update News for inspiring reflections. Browse hikes on the main Hikes page or on the Hike Search by Area (was Quick View Hike List) page. Click World Walks to see or share favorite family-friendly walks! Stay in touch with Lisa Louis and HikingAutism via Contact. The Links page lists a loose collection of helpful information links. Check the Home page for the broader background story. If you’re not able to take one of these Northern California hikes, hopefully you can enjoy the photo galleries at the bottom of each hike page! Please feel free to share on Facebook at HikingAutism, and follow on Twitter at @HikingAutism New this week: Hike Notes 174: Coyote Point Recreation Area Calm in a Storm
Holiday season can be a whirlwind: Shopping, exchanging gifts, interacting with friends and family, making special foods, finishing end of the year tasks. This could overwhelm anyone, but can be particularly disorienting for many on the autism spectrum. Our severely autistic son searches for Christmas videos on YouTube every November. He clearly senses that the holidays are coming and seems to look forward to it. But once the Christmas tree and decorations go up, he repeatedly demands, “Christmas clean up!” We don’t decorate until a day or two before our first holiday dinner guests, because we know Sean’s tolerance is limited. Changes in the environment and disruptions in the daily routine erode his sense of stability. We worry that Sean will have a meltdown while guests are visiting if he reaches the end of his tether with too many lights, too many new smells, too many people. A special needs nutrition and health specialist posted in a holiday message that Christmas trees smell wonderful but can be torture if you have allergies. Scented candles are lovely but not if artificial fragrances knock you off your feet. Flashing lights are magical, but not if you are prone to seizures or other neurological conditions. This year we got our first artificial tree, didn’t put out any items with artificial fragrances, and made sure not to use the flashing holiday lights. For the first time ever, Sean hasn’t said “Christmas clean up!” once. Though his OCD escalated because stacks of books and other objects he organizes to calm himself are temporarily cleaned up, and he did have a couple of mini meltdowns after guests left, when visitors were here, he ate together and then enjoyed quiet video time. Small tweaks in our environment and routine can make a huge difference in how we handle times that feel challenging. May we all find small changes that make life less stressful even when our routines are disrupted. Happy trails in the new year! This week’s HikingAutism Hike Notes from the archives is Fort Funston Upper Trails, a dog-friendly walking area with stunning ocean views and the treat of watching hang gliders soar. This week’s Hike Notes from the Archives: (Original Hike Notes 95): Fort Funston Upper Trails Click Insights/Hike Update News for inspiring reflections. Browse hikes and photo galleries via the main Hikes page or the Hike Search by Area (was Quick View Hike List) page. Click World Walks to see or share favorite walks from readers! Stay in touch with Lisa Louis and HikingAutism via Contact. The Links page lists a loose collection of helpful information links. Check the Home page for the broader background story. Please feel free to share, and follow on Twitter at @HikingAutism The Gift of Kindness
In this season of cultures celebrating a shift from dark to light, special foods, and the magic of giving, I am reminded of simple gifts we can share. We recently visited a popular nature preserve where cars wait in line for a spot in the main parking lot, the only one featuring a bathroom. The lot was full, so I pulled off to one side with flashers on so my husband could take our severely autistic son to the bathroom, planning to then drive to a farther parking area. A man in a pickup truck called out and asked if we wanted his parking spot. “Your son looks like he might be having a hard time,” he said, explaining his offer. He’d seen our son walking with a stern face, hunched shoulders, and gripping my husband’s arm. This is normal mode for Sean, but appeared to the man as being in distress. He wanted to make things easier. As I profusely thanked him for his kind offer, but said we were happy to find another spot, another driver waved to me saying they were leaving and that we could have their spot. I often feel tears well when people reach out in recognition that our family has extra challenges, though we plod along doing our best not to attract attention. Simple acts of good will reverberate and expand, and require no greater resources than a positive spirit and small actions. May we all have the good fortune to receive simple kindnesses, and to offer them. This week’s Hike Notes, Baylands Nature Preserve, leads readers on a flat, easy walk along the water and marshes of Palo Alto’s photogenic nature preserve. Click Insights/Hike Update News for inspiring reflections. Browse hikes on the main Hikes page or on the Hike Search by Area (was Quick View Hike List) page. Click World Walks to see or share favorite family-friendly walks! Stay in touch with Lisa Louis and HikingAutism via Contact. The Links page lists a loose collection of helpful information links. Check the Home page for the broader background story. If you’re not able to take one of these Northern California hikes, hopefully you can enjoy the photo galleries at the bottom of each hike page! Please feel free to share, and follow on Twitter at @HikingAutism New this week: Hike Notes 173: Baylands Nature Preserve Twilight Tranquility
On any given day, my mind rotates through repeating stress factors: work deadlines, bills to pay, car and house repairs, loved ones with health problems, concerns about my severely autistic son’s future. Finding an off switch for worries seems impossible. A worrywart from early childhood, I have spent decades trying to regulate the flow of anxious thoughts about past, present, future and imagined problems. Physically engaging activities like exercise and hands-on tasks requiring concentration such as playing a musical instrument or creating art have been shown in studies to distract from anxiety more effectively than endeavors like reading a book, watching a movie, or meditating, though those can help. The thing that has brought me peace from earliest memories is being active outdoors. Nature’s dazzling displays—brilliant sunrises and sunsets for a start—have an entrancing power that stops my spinning cycle of thoughts. I stare at the sky, and everything except the colorful spectacle above melts from my mind. If I could bottle and sell the calming force of sunset views, I’d be a billionaire. Though we can’t totally eliminate worry from our lives, we can spend more time focusing on goodness and beauty, which declutters the mind. May we all find the peaceful magic of the great outdoors as we stumble through life. Keep putting one foot forward! This week’s HikingAutism Hike Notes from the archives is Tennessee Valley Fox Trail, a Marin Headlands trail that offers soft, rolling rises and descents and the opportunity to see sunsets over the Pacific horizon. This week’s Hike Notes from the Archives: (Original Hike Notes 42): Tennessee Valley Fox Trail Click Insights/Hike Update News for inspiring reflections. Browse hikes and photo galleries via the main Hikes page or the Hike Search by Area (was Quick View Hike List) page. Click World Walks to see or share favorite walks from readers! Stay in touch with Lisa Louis and HikingAutism via Contact. The Links page lists a loose collection of helpful information links. Check the Home page for the broader background story. Please feel free to share, and follow on Twitter at @HikingAutism As the Leaves Fall
Colorful leaves, fallen but still supple with residual moisture, lie next to brown leaves curled into crumbling shadows of their former selves. The sepia-toned crunchy leaves are as beautiful as their younger, less-withered neighbors. Like people, they’ve earned their wrinkles and broken edges. I’ve recently read about letting fallen leaves lie in yards to provide habitat for insects and other creatures who use them as part of their transition through autumn and winter. Fallen leaves on a hiking trail have always added a magical charm for me, but now I also see the leaves covering my yard with a more appreciative eye. In our drought-prone area, they not only support small creatures but also help retain moisture in our sandy soil. Whether reaching out to touch a faded leaf or a hand marked by wrinkles and arthritic joints, may we all appreciate the life that persevered to that point. This week’s Hike Notes, Purisima Creek Trail from Higgins Canyon Road, takes readers along a deep forest trail that features a refreshing combination of redwoods and oak, marked by patches of moss and fern on a path paralleling a creek. Click Insights/Hike Update News for inspiring reflections. Browse hikes on the main Hikes page or on the Hike Search by Area (was Quick View Hike List) page. Click World Walks to see or share favorite family-friendly walks! Stay in touch with Lisa Louis and HikingAutism via Contact. The Links page lists a loose collection of helpful information links. Check the Home page for the broader background story. If you’re not able to take one of these Northern California hikes, hopefully you can enjoy the photo galleries at the bottom of each hike page! Please feel free to share, and follow on Twitter at @HikingAutism New this week: Hike Notes 172: Purisima Creek Trail from Higgins Canyon Road Walking Together Apart
Just over a year ago, our older son moved to London for his job. Explaining to our severely autistic son Sean that his big brother wouldn’t be sleeping nearby, sitting on the sofa together, or walking hand in hand on a trail was mission impossible. Sean’s limited language makes communicating complicated ideas difficult, so we use visual tools in addition to words. Sean loves maps, but no matter how many times we spun the globe and pointed to San Francisco where we live and then London where his brother would live, Sean’s face didn’t register understanding. Big brother will soon be home for the first time since he left for London, visiting for the holidays. For autistic Sean, that may also be difficult to understand. Having people appear and disappear, or only appear as a talking head on a phone screen, can be confusing. Years ago, on our older son’s first visit home after three months away at college, he walked in and sat next to Sean on the sofa. “Hey Seanie!” he said, trying to get Sean to acknowledge him. Sean sat with his face focused on his previous activity. He registered his brother’s presence using peripheral vision several times, but didn’t look at him directly, say his name, or hug him. It was as if he didn’t believe his big brother was truly home. After ten minutes of our older son being quietly present next to him, Sean turned his head toward his brother. He looked in his eyes for a long time, leaned his forehead to touch his forehead, sniffed his neck (a classic Sean greeting), and then sunk into a long hug. Emotions can be overwhelming for any of us, but can be especially hard to process for a person on the autism spectrum. Whether it takes ten seconds, ten minutes, or ten hours, when his brother comes home for the holidays, Sean will eventually sink into that long hug and enjoy walking hand in hand with his brother on our holiday hikes. Living far away from loved ones is hard, but staying in contact in some way other than face-to-face presence helps us stay together in spirit. Happy trails to everyone this holiday season! This week’s HikingAutism Hike Notes from the archives is Gray Whale Cove Trail, which leads hikers up a very steep hill that offers striking views of the ocean and Route 1 at the southern edge of Pacifica. This week’s Hike Notes from the Archives: (Original Hike Notes 93): Gray Whale Cove Trail Click Insights/Hike Update News for inspiring reflections. Browse hikes and photo galleries via the main Hikes page or the Hike Search by Area (was Quick View Hike List) page. Click World Walks to see or share favorite walks from readers! Stay in touch with Lisa Louis and HikingAutism via Contact. The Links page lists a loose collection of helpful information links. Check the Home page for the broader background story. Please feel free to share, and follow on Twitter at @HikingAutism |
Lisa LouisSharing insights and hiking highlights (Hikes, Hike Search by Area) from the special needs caregiver front in San Francisco. Archives
January 2023
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